The Final Goodbye

Today my Grandad will be laid to rest beside my Grandma and with his first son who died at the age of 12. Because I cannot be with my family in Ottawa to say goodbye, I wrote my Grandad a letter and mailed it to him. My sister has courageously offered to read it on my behalf at his ceremony of life this morning.

To my dearest Grandad,

How does one say goodbye to the best man they’ve ever known? I’ve decided I can’t. We always said see you later when we parted, and stood waving at the end of the driveway until the car was out of sight. We never went longer than a few weeks without talking. There are often words left unsaid when someone moves on to their next journey, but I feel like we said them all. We talked about life and love. We talked about childhood and growing up. We talked about school and finances. How many people can say they discussed homosexuality and gays with their 90 year old grandfather? I can. You are the strongest, most open minded, coolest grandad I’ve ever known.

But if I had to choose (and it appears I do), my parting words for the last time would be ‘thank you’. Thank you for teaching me to always go for my dreams. Thank you for teaching me to never give up. Thank you for showing me that at any age, life is worth fighting for. Thank you for sharing your passion for rocks with me. I now cannot go anywhere without picking up a piece of the local landscape. Thank you for correcting my English grammar with such effervescence. It helped me write a highly praised thesis and become a university English professor. I promise I will always take something there, and bring it back, just as you taught me. Thank you for supporting me, no matter what the urgency or reason. I would never be where I am today if it wasn’t for your support, emotional and financial. You helped me through some of the toughest times, and continue to do so even now.

I’m so thankful to have had 27 years to get to know you. I am proud to say that I truly knew my grandfather. I took advantage of the gift that we were given, the time that we were given, to get to know each other. In the 90s, I remember coming home from Brownies one night to hear that you’d had a heart attack. I thought I was going to lose my grandfather at such a young age, but I should have known better. In high school, I remember sitting in the walk-in cooler at Dairy Queen crying my eyes out because your heart surgery had been postponed again. I had just called my dad to get an update, and he told me you looked so solemn sitting there, all ready for surgery, only to hear that some machine wasn’t working so you had to go home. It broke my heart. But again, you pulled through, demonstrating that strength I’ve only ever seen in one person. The summer I lived with you and Grandma is something I will forever cherish. I got to know my ancestors as real people. We laughed a lot that summer. We danced, we gardened, we watched movies, we shared stories, we made memories, and we lived. Thank you for being a part of my life, and for making me a part of yours. Even though I grew up many miles away, I never felt further away than a phone call.

Enclosed is a rock I picked up for you from the north shore of Prince Edward Island this summer. It was my first trip to PEI, and all I could think of was whether or not you’d been there. The sandstone bluffs are incredible. JM and I walked out to this area where the shore was eroded and had created some unique rock formations. I picked up a small stone for you. I didn’t get to mail it before I left, so it came all the way back to Korea with me. I never thought I would be sending it to your memorial.

Thank you, Grandad, for being my family. I’m very proud to be a part of yours and Grandma’s legacy. Please give her my regards. I miss you both so much, every day. Until next time … see you later.

With love, forever and for always,

Jennika

My proud Grandad