An Indian Wedding

Just before I booked my trip to Rishikesh, planned for my last week in India, my host brother Simar says to me, 'You cannot go that week! Our cousin is getting married! You must come to the wedding'. Well, who am I to argue with must? So I changed my trip and got to experience one of the most exciting and unique cultural experiences that most people don't get to have while traveling in a country.

Indian weddings, especially Punjabi ones, are huge. Not just huge with lots of people (although, this is true and on the wedding day there are usually 300-400 people who attend), but extravagant celebrations over an entire week. I'm pretty sure there were events every day of the week, but I only attended three (only!). The first was the sangeet and dinner on Wednesday night. The sangeet is the Indian version of the bridal shower where only the bride's family is invited and everyone sings traditional folk songs to her, often teasing her groom. This event was soooo fancy. You would not know this wasn't the wedding. There were fountains, caterers, a huge buffet, tons of seating, and fancy decorations. I had to buy a nice dress for the occasion, but I was not upset. I love Indian clothes and was happy to go shopping.

The entrance to the sangeet's reception hall

Gold couches when you walk in

The buffet

 Me and some of the girl cousins - who were very friendly and made me feel like a part of the fam!

 

Videos of the singing and dancing

Look at how colourful and regal all the clothes are!

On Friday, two days before the wedding, was the mehndi party, where the women all get henna done on their hands and/or feet. It was my first time getting henna and I have to say, I liked it! It was so detailed. Notice the peacock on my left hand.

Colourful women at the mehndi party (I'm in the background somewhere!)

It starts out kind of orange and darkens over the next two days.

The day of the wedding my henna was so dark. There is a saying in India. The darker the henna, the more your mother in law loves you. So Karen .. you must really like me eh? ;)

The actual wedding day was Sunday, February 16th. It was a full day affair. First, the bride's family met at the reception hall for a brunch where we took lots of family photos and waited for the groom's family to arrive. He usually arrives on a horse, but in this family, they arrive in a Mercedes. haha. So, the groom comes to the entrance with a big parade and he must negotiate with the 'sisters', which includes sisters and all female cousins, a price for entry! This can range anywhere up to $1000! The sisters demand cash, and then they all split it. It was funny to watch them negotiate with a nervous groom.

Dressed and ready to go! I had a dress made for the occasion. I chose the fabric and accent colour. My Indian mum generously lent me some bling for the wedding. These earrings were HEAVY and painful after awhile, but I never took them off. I was too afraid of losing them! Plus they totally made the outfit.

Entrance to the wedding day reception hall

Mum and Papa

Me and my mum

                                  Cousins!                                                                   Gunji Baba!

My host family

Family portait

The groom arrives

After eating, we headed to the place of the wedding ceremony. Usually this would happen in a temple, but Navseerat and Amitoj opted for a backyard affair. Arranged marriages are very common in India, and this was no exception. It was very interesting to see how no vows are exchanged in Sikhism, but rather they walk around the altar four times to solidify their marriage in the eyes of God. What I liked was that the 'brothers' (male cousins included) embrace her to show their support as she walks around with her new husband. See the video! After the ceremony, we went back to the reception hall for dinner and the king of Patiala came by to wish the new couple well. Apparently he does this for friends of the family.

                               Walking to the altar                                   Leaving as a married couple!

 Waiting for the bride to walk in

 Wedding ceremony

All in all it was a wonderful day and a treasured experience. I'm so thankful to have been welcome and invited to attend all the wedding events. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I will never forget. It was a fantastic way to end my Indian adventure.

Jennika

A Korean Wedding Experience

Today we attended the wedding of one of our colleagues. Gwang Ho is a biology teacher at the boys school and sits at the desk right next to mine. He is a good friend of Christine's (my other colleague) and through her (and proximity), I got to know him. We were the two teachers doing the neuroscience classes in the fall.

Gwang Ho invited us and, of course, JM and I accepted. We were thrilled to be invited, and even more excited to get a first hand experience at a Korean wedding. My students did a few presentations last semester about Korean weddings, so I had a bit of an idea what it would be like. Most commonly, Koreans get married in a wedding hall, where many weddings are happening at the same time. It is an afternoon event only. There is usually a quick ceremony and a (lunch) reception. A couple hours and everyone goes home. There is no dinner or dancing. Sometimes the bride and groom wear hanbok, traditional Korean clothing.



Me trying on hanbok (I'm dressed like the queen!)

Gwang Ho's wedding was a bit different. They had a full mass in a church with the wedding ceremony. They also wore western style wedding clothes (white dress and tux). When the Bugil crew arrived at noon, an hour before the ceremony, we were told to eat first. So before ever seeing the bride or groom, we all went downstairs in the church basement and feasted on the most elaborate buffet I've ever seen. Following lunch, we went upstairs to watch the ceremony. When communion time came around, JM and I decided to see what a Korean eucharist was like. I am happy to report that even on the other side of the world, the bread tastes exactly the same; mass produced edible cardboard. After the ceremony, some Bugil students, who are in the band with Gwang Ho, played some live music and sang love ballads.

Another interesting fact is that Koreans always give money at a wedding, never gifts, and always in a denomination of 3, 5 or 10. Acquaintances give $30, friends give $50, and family usually give $100. I gave $50 since I work with Gwang Ho, and JM decided to be anti-traditional and gave $37, just to blow someone's mind. He's cool like that. haha.

All in all, it was a very nice experience!

Jennika

The Wedding

Sara and Graham’s ceremony took place at the old Round Church in Richmond, Vermont, where Graham is from. The church is a national historic landmark and was built in 1814. We thought it was very elegant and classy as it was quite simple and painted only white on the inside. The church is non-denominational, so there was no decor associated with any particular religion. Rather than regular pews, there were small 4-person box pews, which in the early 1800s was designed to help shelter the patrons from drafts. They would even have to bring hot coals or soapstones from home to stay warm. It was very cute.

Members of Sara and Graham’s families sang or played songs composed for the wedding. Though the weather was extremely humid, the atmosphere in the church was light and joyful. Sara’s vows made us both teary and everyone laughed when she promised to be the mother to 6 foot 5 Graham’s ‘tall babies’. Jennika’s favourite part was how they confirmed their vows by saying “I will” instead of the classic “I do”. It was original and even felt more genuine.

The reception was held at Graham’s parents’ farm. Appetizers and drinks were served just behind the house followed by photos and an open toast. The fact that the toasts were voluntary meant no one felt the pressure to prepare anything and we got a good picture into the individual lives of Sara and Graham, as well as their life together. We learned about Graham’s frugality and paranoia from Kris, and Sara’s free-spirited nature from her Michigan arts crew. We learned about how they met at a cocktail club in Burlington, were both very artistic, and how they complimented each other’s weaknesses and strengths. After dating for a short time, Sara and Graham managed a long distance relationship when Sara had to move back to Kentucky. It’s nice to see how when something is right, it can withstand the distance.

Dinner was served in an old barn that Graham and his father had fixed up for the wedding. A new floor and lots of powerwashing made it shine, and it was a fantastic spot. The night continued with dancing, bonfires, and delicious food. Sara’s sister had made the wedding cake and we all agreed it was the best of all the desserts. The food was Kentucky Derby inspired and there were Kentucky quilts on the walls of the barn. Following the dinner, Graham’s cousins put on a grandiose fireworks display that outdid the Canada Day and Independence Day shows we’d seen earlier this trip. It was a great way to round out the night.

Sunday morning we woke up and had breakfast in the barn with all the guests who’d camped out. Sara’s mom brought in the best bagels that Jennika had ever had, topped with some of that delicious Vermont cream cheese. We packed up the car, said our goodbyes and had to be on our way. After traveling for 10 days, we have quite a few loads of laundry to get in and tomorrow, JM’s birthday, we plan to drive all the way to Halifax from Montreal. Hopefully Sunshine (Jennika’s car) can handle this trip. So far we’ve done almost 2000km and we aren’t even half way done.

Nighty night,

JaMs and Jennika